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Monday, 13 July 2020
5 Mental Exercises to Strengthen Your Emotional Fitness
Achieve the mindset that allows you to not just endure chaos, but to thrive in it.
In times of crisis, there are those who become overwhelmed by fear and those who rise to the occasion. They know that they have the mindset to not just endure but to thrive in the middle of chaos. They understand that what they do right now is going to determine what kind of life they will have ten years from now.
What separates these individuals from the vast majority? It’s not necessarily money or past success. There are plenty of people who have money but they are living in fear. And there are people who thought they had their business figured out, and now they are forced to reinvent themselves because everything has changed.
People who thrive in chaos have the ability to stay calm under immense pressure and focus on who they need to become to get through a challenge. They have the capacity to change their perception when reality changes. They don't try to argue with reality by wishing that things wouldn’t be a certain way.
They possess what I call emotional fitness.
Emotional fitness is not the same as emotional intelligence. Although the two are related, emotional intelligence is the capacity for empathy. Emotional fitness is the capacity to think on your feet when the ground crumbles underneath you.
You already know the benefits of exercise. You can do all the research you want about the perfect interval times or the best yoga pants, but all of that means nothing if you don’t get in the gym and do the work until you start sweating. The same thing is true for emotional fitness. You can read all you want about how to stay calm under pressure, but the only way to actually increase your emotional fitness is to do the necessary inner work to increase your capacity.
Here are five ways entrepreneurs can increase their emotional fitness.
1. Check-in with yourself multiple times a day Your reaction to whatever stimulus is in front of you is to a certain extent involuntary. If you step on a LEGO, you get angry at the same time the pain shoots up your foot. When you watch the craziness on the news, you get anxious. Those thoughts and emotions are going to come to you before your rational brain has a chance to keep up. At least two or three times per day, take a minute to check-in with yourself and figure out what you are focusing on. Follow that focus and see what the emotions are bringing up. Are you stressed out because you’re focused on the negative things that are happening, or are you excited about the opportunities that are ahead of you?
Most people don’t know, but subconsciously our mind focuses on all the negative things that are going on because of the survival instinct. When you're on autopilot, it's easy for these negative feelings to overwhelm everything else. But by intentionally bringing awareness to your thoughts and emotions, you can make a conscious decision to shift your focus and interrupt the pattern of being on autopilot. By checking in with yourself multiple times a day, you give yourself the data to understand why you feel the way you do and where your focus is during the day.
2. Acknowledge the emotions and thoughts The moment that you acknowledge your emotions and thoughts is the moment that you can become aware of the trigger that is causing that thought or emotion. Like I said before, our subconscious mind is constantly focused on negative thoughts and emotions, especially early in the day. If you don’t acknowledge those feelings, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle the entire day. Your brain is going to release the stress hormone cortisol, because your brain behaves as if you’re fighting an enemy, and your body expends energy fighting itself.
Studies show that just acknowledging negative thoughts, and realizing that it’s normal for your brain to be in reactive mode, gives you the power to make the conscious decision to shift and focus on the opportunities instead of the problem. Be more aware of them instead of trying to fix them. Your emotions are not something you have to “fix.” The trigger that made you feel that way is the thing to fix, not the emotion itself.
3. Don't make your emotions "wrong" Your emotions are feedback to your perception of your current reality. If you make them wrong, then you believe that your current situation shouldn’t be happening to you. That’s when you start arguing with reality and look for something or someone to blame. We have this illusion that we shouldn’t feel a certain way, or that we are weak by acknowledging what we feel.
By acknowledging you are not your thoughts, feelings and emotions, you become open to receiving the feedback and learning from them instead of reacting to them.
4. Feel your emotions fully We are constantly judging ourselves and we don’t give ourselves permission to feel our emotions fully. Like the feeling of relief that sometimes mixes in with sadness. Our emotions can bring out guilt and shame because we think we shouldn’t feel a certain way. The guilt and shame are what prevent us from expanding our capacity. The emotions are there because the triggers are there, and you can’t just stop that circuit. Instead, you have to complete the circuit and feel the emotions fully.
The moment we give ourselves permission to feel the emotion, that’s the moment you’re bringing light into the darkness. The fear and uncertainty that consume our energy will begin to lose power. We are bringing light into the darkness and realizing that we were more afraid of the dark than what it was hiding.
5. Win the battle in your mind before it becomes real Most of our fears and stressors are caused by what we think could happen. Much of the time, the fear isn’t real, and only lives in our mind. The thoughts of the worst-case scenario are all set in the future and are inspired by some pain from the past. That feeling of being caught in the middle of an unalterable past and an undetermined future takes away our certainty. It’s that helplessness that amplifies all the other emotions. But the secret weapon is that you can also win those battles in the same place: your mind.
Recently, my wife became ill. We were sure it was COVID-19, and the two of us took immediate action to protect our two teenage children by quarantining her in the guest room. A day later, she recovered but I got sick myself, and I was sicker than I’ve ever been for two days. Although fighting the virus was brutal, I had the emotional fitness to not overreact. This was in large part because for years, every morning I imagined myself facing a worst-case scenario, and every morning I felt the pain of my wife or kids getting sick, or of being sick and not being able to provide for my family. But then I would end the mediation, knowing it was all in my mind and the reality was that they were fine. At that point, no challenge or failure I would face that day would be worse than what I put myself through in my imagination.
This time, when the worst-case scenario actually happened in real life, it was painful, but I was comfortable with the pain in a way few people ever get to be. Because I was able to fight the battle in my mind many times over and I had the emotional fitness to stay calm in the middle of chaos.
You have to do the same thing. Fight the monsters where they live, which is in your mind. When you slay the beasts inside your mind, you realize that they are there to make you stronger. So when you face them in real life, you know exactly what to do to overcome them.
Every day, I’m having conversations with clients who are CEOs and entrepreneurs, and I remind them that this present moment is the biggest opportunity we have to stand out from the crowd as leaders. If we’re willing to increase our emotional fitness on a daily basis, we will rise through the chaos. But this has to be a daily commitment.
If you’re a leader in your business, you can’t afford to be consumed by the negative energy that we have in this pandemic. Increase your emotional fitness daily, and you will become stronger when the storm clears. One of my favorite mantras that I repeat to myself every day is “the best is yet to come.” And if you believe that with every single cell in your body, you will find opportunities, and you will bring certainty to those who are living in fear. Your job as a leader is to get stronger, increase your capacity, and bring hope to your employees, customers, and family. You were made for moments like this.
Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/349466
In times of crisis, there are those who become overwhelmed by fear and those who rise to the occasion. They know that they have the mindset to not just endure but to thrive in the middle of chaos. They understand that what they do right now is going to determine what kind of life they will have ten years from now.
What separates these individuals from the vast majority? It’s not necessarily money or past success. There are plenty of people who have money but they are living in fear. And there are people who thought they had their business figured out, and now they are forced to reinvent themselves because everything has changed.
People who thrive in chaos have the ability to stay calm under immense pressure and focus on who they need to become to get through a challenge. They have the capacity to change their perception when reality changes. They don't try to argue with reality by wishing that things wouldn’t be a certain way.
They possess what I call emotional fitness.
Emotional fitness is not the same as emotional intelligence. Although the two are related, emotional intelligence is the capacity for empathy. Emotional fitness is the capacity to think on your feet when the ground crumbles underneath you.
You already know the benefits of exercise. You can do all the research you want about the perfect interval times or the best yoga pants, but all of that means nothing if you don’t get in the gym and do the work until you start sweating. The same thing is true for emotional fitness. You can read all you want about how to stay calm under pressure, but the only way to actually increase your emotional fitness is to do the necessary inner work to increase your capacity.
Here are five ways entrepreneurs can increase their emotional fitness.
1. Check-in with yourself multiple times a day Your reaction to whatever stimulus is in front of you is to a certain extent involuntary. If you step on a LEGO, you get angry at the same time the pain shoots up your foot. When you watch the craziness on the news, you get anxious. Those thoughts and emotions are going to come to you before your rational brain has a chance to keep up. At least two or three times per day, take a minute to check-in with yourself and figure out what you are focusing on. Follow that focus and see what the emotions are bringing up. Are you stressed out because you’re focused on the negative things that are happening, or are you excited about the opportunities that are ahead of you?
Most people don’t know, but subconsciously our mind focuses on all the negative things that are going on because of the survival instinct. When you're on autopilot, it's easy for these negative feelings to overwhelm everything else. But by intentionally bringing awareness to your thoughts and emotions, you can make a conscious decision to shift your focus and interrupt the pattern of being on autopilot. By checking in with yourself multiple times a day, you give yourself the data to understand why you feel the way you do and where your focus is during the day.
2. Acknowledge the emotions and thoughts The moment that you acknowledge your emotions and thoughts is the moment that you can become aware of the trigger that is causing that thought or emotion. Like I said before, our subconscious mind is constantly focused on negative thoughts and emotions, especially early in the day. If you don’t acknowledge those feelings, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle the entire day. Your brain is going to release the stress hormone cortisol, because your brain behaves as if you’re fighting an enemy, and your body expends energy fighting itself.
Studies show that just acknowledging negative thoughts, and realizing that it’s normal for your brain to be in reactive mode, gives you the power to make the conscious decision to shift and focus on the opportunities instead of the problem. Be more aware of them instead of trying to fix them. Your emotions are not something you have to “fix.” The trigger that made you feel that way is the thing to fix, not the emotion itself.
3. Don't make your emotions "wrong" Your emotions are feedback to your perception of your current reality. If you make them wrong, then you believe that your current situation shouldn’t be happening to you. That’s when you start arguing with reality and look for something or someone to blame. We have this illusion that we shouldn’t feel a certain way, or that we are weak by acknowledging what we feel.
By acknowledging you are not your thoughts, feelings and emotions, you become open to receiving the feedback and learning from them instead of reacting to them.
4. Feel your emotions fully We are constantly judging ourselves and we don’t give ourselves permission to feel our emotions fully. Like the feeling of relief that sometimes mixes in with sadness. Our emotions can bring out guilt and shame because we think we shouldn’t feel a certain way. The guilt and shame are what prevent us from expanding our capacity. The emotions are there because the triggers are there, and you can’t just stop that circuit. Instead, you have to complete the circuit and feel the emotions fully.
The moment we give ourselves permission to feel the emotion, that’s the moment you’re bringing light into the darkness. The fear and uncertainty that consume our energy will begin to lose power. We are bringing light into the darkness and realizing that we were more afraid of the dark than what it was hiding.
5. Win the battle in your mind before it becomes real Most of our fears and stressors are caused by what we think could happen. Much of the time, the fear isn’t real, and only lives in our mind. The thoughts of the worst-case scenario are all set in the future and are inspired by some pain from the past. That feeling of being caught in the middle of an unalterable past and an undetermined future takes away our certainty. It’s that helplessness that amplifies all the other emotions. But the secret weapon is that you can also win those battles in the same place: your mind.
Recently, my wife became ill. We were sure it was COVID-19, and the two of us took immediate action to protect our two teenage children by quarantining her in the guest room. A day later, she recovered but I got sick myself, and I was sicker than I’ve ever been for two days. Although fighting the virus was brutal, I had the emotional fitness to not overreact. This was in large part because for years, every morning I imagined myself facing a worst-case scenario, and every morning I felt the pain of my wife or kids getting sick, or of being sick and not being able to provide for my family. But then I would end the mediation, knowing it was all in my mind and the reality was that they were fine. At that point, no challenge or failure I would face that day would be worse than what I put myself through in my imagination.
This time, when the worst-case scenario actually happened in real life, it was painful, but I was comfortable with the pain in a way few people ever get to be. Because I was able to fight the battle in my mind many times over and I had the emotional fitness to stay calm in the middle of chaos.
You have to do the same thing. Fight the monsters where they live, which is in your mind. When you slay the beasts inside your mind, you realize that they are there to make you stronger. So when you face them in real life, you know exactly what to do to overcome them.
Every day, I’m having conversations with clients who are CEOs and entrepreneurs, and I remind them that this present moment is the biggest opportunity we have to stand out from the crowd as leaders. If we’re willing to increase our emotional fitness on a daily basis, we will rise through the chaos. But this has to be a daily commitment.
If you’re a leader in your business, you can’t afford to be consumed by the negative energy that we have in this pandemic. Increase your emotional fitness daily, and you will become stronger when the storm clears. One of my favorite mantras that I repeat to myself every day is “the best is yet to come.” And if you believe that with every single cell in your body, you will find opportunities, and you will bring certainty to those who are living in fear. Your job as a leader is to get stronger, increase your capacity, and bring hope to your employees, customers, and family. You were made for moments like this.
Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/349466
Wednesday, 8 July 2020
5 Habits of Successful People
Forty-five percent of everything you do daily factors into your daily habits. But, when change is necessary, are you brave enough to go for it?
We’re all creatures of habit: We get up at the same time, go to work, have lunch at a certain time, go home at night and do it all over again the next day. No routine is the same, but routine does provide us with a sense of accomplishment and normalcy.
In fact, the state of our daily lives reflects our daily habits. According to a Duke University psychology study, 45 percent of everything we do on a daily basis factors in those daily habits.
That's why, for many, change is an inconvenience. It usually entails something unknown. My own view? It's: "Change is the only thing that’s constant." We’ve been conditioned to fear the unknown, but without someone having the gumption to "walk the plank," there wouldn’t be inventions or innovations. Not to mention the fact that we entrepreneurs might still be clocking in and out of corporate America.
Pushing boundaries, embracing change and expanding our horizons is how we grow as professionals and individuals.
Is there something that we can do (or do better) in order to be more successful? Yes, there is. Here are five habits you can cultivate to help you become more successful.
1. Have meetings at the same location. As CEOs and business owners, we are involved in countless meetings any given day. One way to maximize our time is to schedule meetings back to back and in the same place. Not only will you get those meetings out of the way earlier in the day, but you won’t have to switch locations. You won’t lose time going from place to place and can spend some time focusing on what needs to happen during the meeting.
Tiffany Pham, founder and CEO of Mogul, takes this practice to heart. As she told Inc.: “If I must have multiple meetings throughout a day, I often aim to set them back to back in one location. This way, I maintain efficiency and focus throughout the meetings, setting the pace according to the agenda and maximum time allotted, [while] knowing we must get straight to the points at hand since the next meeting is impending.”
2. Get organized. The supposed correlation between being organized and being productive is a belief that not everyone subscribes to. But it’s something that works for me. My desk is organized; everything has its place; therefore, I feel ready to tackle the day.
Some people argue that clutter -- whether at home or at work -- results in a lack of focus. In fact, scientific evidence says this is a real thing. Clutter prevents us from focusing on bigger goals. If organization is something that you strive for in order to feel that you’ve accomplished something, but you don’t know where to start, start small. Organize one drawer, instead of your entire desk. Organize the left side of your closet, instead of your entire closet.
Then again, there are people who might be a little messier but are just as focused and productive as someone like me who likes "neat and orderly." Their motto is “my mess, my business.” At the end of the day, it’s the end result that counts the most.
3. Stay connected. When we start our entrepreneurial journey, we’re in charge of everything -- from answering phones and mailing packages, to billing and business development. As our venture grows into a robust company, we delegate some of those responsibilities to other employees; and if our business takes off, we delegate while focusing even more on how to expand the business. With expansion comes growing pains which can make us lose focus; we become disconnected, from the day-to-day details, and sometimes from our own employees.
Staying connected doesn’t mean being in people’s faces or micromanaging your staff. It means staying involved with what you love to do. For example, I enjoy getting involved in the creative side of things -- whether from a marketing/PR or production standpoint.
I occasionally sit in, for example, during planning sessions that my teams have with clients. That helps me stay up to date with what’s going on with clients and what they want from the team, while enabling me to inject a different perspective and not get bogged down with the day-to-day activities.
Don’t be the kind of entrepreneur who’s disconnected, because more often than not, out of sight turns into out of mind -- and that’s no way to run a business.
4. Learn something new every day. When we’re young, we think that learning stops after we leave college. As we get older, and hopefully wiser, we realize this is not the case. Learning never stops; and, if you’re to become successful, you need to become a voracious reader or a big consumer of news.
Your activity here doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but whether you’re looking to upgrade your vocabulary or remain current with what’s going on the world, you have to make time.
Mark Cuban says he reads three hours every day. Bill Gates reads for an hour before bedtime. Reading isn’t just something you do to help clear your mind; it can also help you learn from the mistakes (and successes) of others. I occasionally peruse my social media feeds to learn a few things, too. Someone might share an article that is relevant to my industry and is something, normally, that I wouldn’t have noticed.
It might be about a new trend, a new technology or a new tool that might help streamline my workload (I’m always looking for neat tips and tricks to help me save time). Whatever it is that you choose to learn that day, whether it’s industry-related or not, make an effort to learn it. After all, knowledge never killed anyone.
5. Ask the right questions and push the envelope. Most of our workload revolves around the "what" or the "how" -- what are we working on today? How are we going to accomplish this task? But, what we don’t focus more on is the "why." Successful people are constantly asking questions and pushing the envelope. Sure, that might sound like a toddler asking endless questions, but asking "why" helps you understand the process and, possibly, find alternative ways to fix a problem.
"Why" is always the hardest question to ask. For some, it may come across as questioning authority, but that’s not the case. If that’s how you think, you should get out of that mindset. Settling for the status quo never made anyone stand out.
But, questioning things is actually how you push the envelope. I understand this might be difficult to do, but here’s the catch: It’s not necessarily what you say, but how you say it. You can ask almost anything, push any envelope and even challenge authority if you do it calmly and respectfully.
Earlier, I mentioned how your daily habits help determine how you run your life. Ask yourself a couple of questions: a) what does success mean to me? and b) is there anything in my daily routine that I need to change that will help me become more successful?
Success means different things for different people. Some measure it in titles, money, social/financial status or simply personal satisfaction. Find out what success means to you and work toward that goal. Then examine your daily routine and do an honest self-assessment. That’s your plan.
Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/298002
We’re all creatures of habit: We get up at the same time, go to work, have lunch at a certain time, go home at night and do it all over again the next day. No routine is the same, but routine does provide us with a sense of accomplishment and normalcy.
In fact, the state of our daily lives reflects our daily habits. According to a Duke University psychology study, 45 percent of everything we do on a daily basis factors in those daily habits.
That's why, for many, change is an inconvenience. It usually entails something unknown. My own view? It's: "Change is the only thing that’s constant." We’ve been conditioned to fear the unknown, but without someone having the gumption to "walk the plank," there wouldn’t be inventions or innovations. Not to mention the fact that we entrepreneurs might still be clocking in and out of corporate America.
Pushing boundaries, embracing change and expanding our horizons is how we grow as professionals and individuals.
Is there something that we can do (or do better) in order to be more successful? Yes, there is. Here are five habits you can cultivate to help you become more successful.
1. Have meetings at the same location. As CEOs and business owners, we are involved in countless meetings any given day. One way to maximize our time is to schedule meetings back to back and in the same place. Not only will you get those meetings out of the way earlier in the day, but you won’t have to switch locations. You won’t lose time going from place to place and can spend some time focusing on what needs to happen during the meeting.
Tiffany Pham, founder and CEO of Mogul, takes this practice to heart. As she told Inc.: “If I must have multiple meetings throughout a day, I often aim to set them back to back in one location. This way, I maintain efficiency and focus throughout the meetings, setting the pace according to the agenda and maximum time allotted, [while] knowing we must get straight to the points at hand since the next meeting is impending.”
2. Get organized. The supposed correlation between being organized and being productive is a belief that not everyone subscribes to. But it’s something that works for me. My desk is organized; everything has its place; therefore, I feel ready to tackle the day.
Some people argue that clutter -- whether at home or at work -- results in a lack of focus. In fact, scientific evidence says this is a real thing. Clutter prevents us from focusing on bigger goals. If organization is something that you strive for in order to feel that you’ve accomplished something, but you don’t know where to start, start small. Organize one drawer, instead of your entire desk. Organize the left side of your closet, instead of your entire closet.
Then again, there are people who might be a little messier but are just as focused and productive as someone like me who likes "neat and orderly." Their motto is “my mess, my business.” At the end of the day, it’s the end result that counts the most.
3. Stay connected. When we start our entrepreneurial journey, we’re in charge of everything -- from answering phones and mailing packages, to billing and business development. As our venture grows into a robust company, we delegate some of those responsibilities to other employees; and if our business takes off, we delegate while focusing even more on how to expand the business. With expansion comes growing pains which can make us lose focus; we become disconnected, from the day-to-day details, and sometimes from our own employees.
Staying connected doesn’t mean being in people’s faces or micromanaging your staff. It means staying involved with what you love to do. For example, I enjoy getting involved in the creative side of things -- whether from a marketing/PR or production standpoint.
I occasionally sit in, for example, during planning sessions that my teams have with clients. That helps me stay up to date with what’s going on with clients and what they want from the team, while enabling me to inject a different perspective and not get bogged down with the day-to-day activities.
Don’t be the kind of entrepreneur who’s disconnected, because more often than not, out of sight turns into out of mind -- and that’s no way to run a business.
4. Learn something new every day. When we’re young, we think that learning stops after we leave college. As we get older, and hopefully wiser, we realize this is not the case. Learning never stops; and, if you’re to become successful, you need to become a voracious reader or a big consumer of news.
Your activity here doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but whether you’re looking to upgrade your vocabulary or remain current with what’s going on the world, you have to make time.
Mark Cuban says he reads three hours every day. Bill Gates reads for an hour before bedtime. Reading isn’t just something you do to help clear your mind; it can also help you learn from the mistakes (and successes) of others. I occasionally peruse my social media feeds to learn a few things, too. Someone might share an article that is relevant to my industry and is something, normally, that I wouldn’t have noticed.
It might be about a new trend, a new technology or a new tool that might help streamline my workload (I’m always looking for neat tips and tricks to help me save time). Whatever it is that you choose to learn that day, whether it’s industry-related or not, make an effort to learn it. After all, knowledge never killed anyone.
5. Ask the right questions and push the envelope. Most of our workload revolves around the "what" or the "how" -- what are we working on today? How are we going to accomplish this task? But, what we don’t focus more on is the "why." Successful people are constantly asking questions and pushing the envelope. Sure, that might sound like a toddler asking endless questions, but asking "why" helps you understand the process and, possibly, find alternative ways to fix a problem.
"Why" is always the hardest question to ask. For some, it may come across as questioning authority, but that’s not the case. If that’s how you think, you should get out of that mindset. Settling for the status quo never made anyone stand out.
But, questioning things is actually how you push the envelope. I understand this might be difficult to do, but here’s the catch: It’s not necessarily what you say, but how you say it. You can ask almost anything, push any envelope and even challenge authority if you do it calmly and respectfully.
Earlier, I mentioned how your daily habits help determine how you run your life. Ask yourself a couple of questions: a) what does success mean to me? and b) is there anything in my daily routine that I need to change that will help me become more successful?
Success means different things for different people. Some measure it in titles, money, social/financial status or simply personal satisfaction. Find out what success means to you and work toward that goal. Then examine your daily routine and do an honest self-assessment. That’s your plan.
Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/298002
Saturday, 27 June 2020
Sunday, 7 June 2020
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