Photo by Preslie Hirsch
Joy is now evident in everything I
say and do!
Focus on gratitude. Choose
forgiveness. Choose joy.— Shaunti Feldhahn
“Joy” is one of my favorite words. In
fact, it is in my top ten list of treasured words. As I thought about it, I
wondered what does “joy” mean? I took it a step further and asked: What is joy?
Then, I embarked upon a little excursion in search of a thorough definition of
this beloved word. First, I had to determine what joy is not. Joy is not
happiness. Happiness is temporary. It is fleeting; you cannot grasp it. You are
pursuing happiness, and it is always expressed in the future tense.
Circumstances
For example, many of us believe we will be happy when we get
married. We seek fulfillment of ourselves through a relationship with a life
partner. Other times, we feel a successful career will make us happy. We invest
money, thinking financial security will buy happiness. We buy houses and cars,
surmising these items will lead to fulfillment. Finally, we look forward to
retirement and enjoying the fruits of our labors. We dream about places to go
and time to spend on leisurely activities. We base our happiness on
circumstances and events we want to happen. These things are not wrong in and of
themselves; however, if they take the place of experiencing joy now, we will
miss much that life has to offer.
Choosing joy
In contrast, joy is eternal. You
can exist in joy. It is a state of mind that focuses on the present, despite our
circumstances. In this life, we will have troubles that rob us of our joy if we
let them. Physical ailments and pain are a reality that many of us endure. For
example, I have suffered chronic pain from arthritis for the past twelve years,
and some days I struggle to find joy. Disaster and hardships fall upon us in an
instant. When I was a little girl, our house burned to the ground, and we lost
everything. My mother insisted things happen to the just and the unjust, despite
our beliefs about the world and our experience of it. How we respond to these
misfortunes determines the quality of life we experience.
Amid our trials, we
can practice joy. Therefore, joy becomes a choice.
Gratitude
Fortunately, in my
investigation of joy I found I had to develop an attitude of gratitude. I know
that seems a cliché; however, gratitude is the basis of joy. During my lifetime,
I experienced grief and loss that seemed to undermine any thankfulness in my
heart. The emotional suffering I underwent led me into a deep depression. A
friend told me to make a list of things to be grateful for. At first, I
hesitated, but then I tried it. I started with ten items, and my inventory
quickly grew to one hundred and counting. After reading my list over and over, I
felt the despair lift.
Now, I wake up with thanksgiving in my heart. Thus, I
discovered that gratitude paves the road to joy.
Forgiving yourself
Forgiveness
is a requirement for having joy in our hearts. The first person you must forgive
is yourself. When I looked deep in my heart, I found that unforgiveness was a
chain that had me bound. Guilt and regret over the poor choices I made in my
life only inhibited my joy. In the past, my addictions hurt my family and my
ability to raise my children in a safe and loving manner. The time I allotted to
buying and using illicit substances stole time I could have spent with them.
However, I learned that the only way to move forward in joy is to be kind to
myself and not live under the iron fist of condemnation and self-hate.
Therefore, I asked myself for forgiveness.
Forgiving others
Also, you must
forgive others for their perceived offenses — past and present. After I forgave
myself, I compiled a second list that contained the names of the people who had
offended me. Some of these people did not care if I forgave them; some didn’t
even know I needed to forgive them. After I finished my list, I read each name
out loud and verbally forgave them. Even then, I rarely felt any better, so I
continued to read my list repeatedly — again and again. Over time, the pain I
associated with the offenses subsided, and I knew that forgiveness of word and
deed had occurred. I learned I cannot change the past; I can only forgive the
past.
Acts of kindness
-Deliberate
Twenty years ago, I was employed by a
non-profit agency in the helping field. On May 3, 1999, Oklahoma experienced the
worst tornado in her history up to that time. Our agency hurried into the field
to provide disaster relief for those devastated by the monster storm. The people
we helped often called us “angels of mercy” as they received our acts of
kindness with intense joy. Truly, “it is more blessed to give than to receive”
(Acts 20:35, NIV). Any attempt I would make to articulate the joy I received
from the people we assisted would be inadequate.
-Random Also, a simple random
act of kindness can touch a life in ways you may never know. A smile or a word
of encouragement often initiates a chain reaction known as the “butterfly
effect.” This is a concept developed by Edward Lorenz, an MIT professor, over
fifty years ago, which simply states “little, insignificant events can lead to
significant results over time.” For example, Lorenz theorized that “the flap of
a butterfly’s wings in Brazil can cause a hurricane in Texas.” These kind acts
will definitely ratchet up your joy-o-meter.
Meditating
Meditating on joy has
proven to have many benefits. For example, studies have shown joy can positively
affect you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
-Physically Meditation
increases the levels of dopamine and serotonin in our brains. The release of
these neurotransmitters increases feelings of elation and joy. Also, joy can
physically rewire our brains if we speak with intention. I often read Scripture
out loud as part of my meditation. This act of speaking and listening creates
new neurons and neural pathways when we meditate.
-Emotionally
Your heart has
40,000 brain cells, and it emits electromagnetic signals. This energy creates
emotional responses. Consider the sayings: “I feel joy in my heart,” or “my
heart is breaking.” If joy can change your brain, why not your heart?
-Spiritually
Reading the Bible can also increase your joy. I begin every morning
with my daily dose of Scripture. I have 12 verses containing the word “joy,”
which I call my prescriptions (RX’s) for life. Each day, I choose a verse from
my list and focus, pay attention, mutter, or memorize it throughout the day
until it becomes a part of me. For example, the last verse on my list is
Jeremiah 15:16 (ESV): and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my
heart…
Cultivating joy
Finally, we must cultivate seeds of joy. Planting a joy
seed can occur when someone says and/or does something that hurts us. Taking the
opportunity to smile or speak words of encouragement often will stop the
offending person in their tracks. Not only are you preventing bitterness from
taking root within your heart, but you may also offer the other person a seed of
joy.
Furthermore, when you are having feelings or thoughts of anger or fear,
stop, and reflect on what is happening. Try to give that emotion a name because
when we can identify a thing, we can do something about it. Then, replace the
emotion with a different feeling or thought (fear becomes faith, and anger
becomes joy). As we do all these things, our hearts will be open to receiving
joy. The fruit of joy will emerge, even when we least expect it. Joy will bubble
up inside of us like a spring whose waters never fail, and it will become
evident in what we say and do.
That, I believe, is the definition of joy.
Debbie
Walker, writer with a BA in Psychology.
